Lurker > Skye Reynolds

So, I went to see Cats as a comedy with my sister and a friend after reading a review that it was like a furry orgy in a dumpster fire. I laughed until I cried.

Pretending it was Bad Movie Night was easy. The film was a train wreck and a half. The difficult part was in keeping a poker face and not letting it be obvious that was attracted to every young and thin feline female in the movie.

<_<

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

It is to Jurassic Park what Gremlins 2 was to the first Gremlins.

It's fun, but wildly over the top and out of touch with the tone of its predecessor. The baseline appeal of Jurassic Park was the way it made you feel like it was all real -- that it was actually happening or could happen. The sequels are all about Indiana Jones style stunts and improbable giant monster dinosaurs. They're still fun, but it's silly to see tyrannosaurus and velociraptor have a sis moment when they'd definitely be natural enemies no matter what mutual opponent they had.

Oh, and Hollywood always fails to comprehend that predators do more than just eat. No reptile with another reptile's jaws around its throat would ever think, "Hmm... That looks like a tasty morsel over there. If I could just reach it--"

Anyway, I'm off to Universal in Orlando. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, everyone.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

I mean, I kinda get that complaint.

Men and women make out.
Men and men kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, or don't kiss at all.

It's not something for which you should directly accuse someone of intentional bigotry, but it is an oversight in terms of equality of representation. <_<

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

"the directors expecting gratitude"

That's the thing. Getting annoyed at this stuff doesn't necessarily make a person a bigot. Some people are genuinely annoyed at being talked down to or by watching people nominate themselves for sainthood with only a passing effort being made. It's patronizing.

If you do something and you don't talk about it, that's great. That's how it should be. Be inclusive and be normal about it. If you want praise, you really have to go all out to make it something meaningful. That's not a rule of progress. That's just a general rule. You don't make valedictorian for a C+ average in storytelling and emotional connection.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

E.T. hasn't gotten one, but that's because Spielberg still has enough stroke to be able to block it from happening. Indiana Jones hasn't been rebooted yet. That one might have less to do with Steven standing in the way and more with the liabilities of the character. Disney isn't big on religious themes, nor is anyone really big on the idea of a white guy breaking into Egyptian and South American tombs.


---

Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Big Trouble is getting a sequel / reboot with Dwayne Johnson.


---

Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

The 1950s were very much a pro-authority, pro-cop, pro-law era in cinema and television. Even in a show like Have Gun, Will Travel where Paladin could be argued as an antihero character, he'd still remark that he had "too much respect for the law" to gun down someone who was trying to egg him into a fight.

That's not to say that law and law enforcement are always a bad thing. It's just that this was the McCarthy era of film and television and everyone had to play by the rules or else they were a communist.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Wait a minute...

Carrie isn't fully justified in her actions. Does this mean they're going to rewrite the story so that only her bullies suffer? Or are they going to let a "transgender or woman of colour" turn villain?

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

or?

Why announce that your character will be X or Y? That's just blatant politics. Saying that Carrie will be black is fine. Saying that she'll be transgender is fine. Saying that she'll be black and transgender is fine. Saying that her casting decision is reserved for a black woman or a trans woman is just virtue signalling. It's annoying when people toot their own horn to see how others respond. And that's coming from someone who fully supports the idea of Carrie as a black transwoman.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Now if we include animated shorts, all bets are off as to most racist.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

jumi posted...

Are you a top or a bottom? Or just fishing for likes?

"Straight" guys who swear they'll only top, but then vigorously bottom are the best.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Highwind07 posted...

The crows from Dumbo though.

Skye Reynolds posted...

Say what you will about the crows from Dumbo, those were birds. These are supposed to be actual people.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

NeonOctopus posted...

I wonder if Song of the South will be a world in Kingdom Heart 4

It'd be hilarious if they included a bull pen and a kindly old man wanting to tell you moral fables instead of the animated portions. Welcome to the boring side of Kingdom Hearts.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

"Remember, the Indian is cunning but less intelligent."

You could maybe make the argument that this statement is subversive -- as the Native Americans immediately outsmart the Lost Boys -- but it's still a pretty nasty remark.

---

Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Different people are better suited for different things.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

This bulldog is supposed to be a Native American chief:



And these are his followers:



The film even has a song "What Made the Red Man Red?" in which the punchline is that a girl gave a prince a kiss and he never stopped blushing. Say what you will about the crows from Dumbo, those were birds. These are supposed to be actual people.

It could've been a lot worse too. Cannibal Cove appears on the map, but they never visit it. Early concept art also depicts Mr. Smee looking like a black caricature.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Who's that jumpin' out the sky?

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Neutrality? In this hyper-political era, you expect neutrality?

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

WesternMedia posted...

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Catgirl
They tend to be horny in the west

"Here, kitty, kitty. Wish I was playing hide-and-seek with Black Cat. I so prefer my felines female." Spider-Man, The Spectacular Spider-Man

This is what makes Spider-Man such a great hero: he's so relatable.

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Bourne Identity style fight editing

We don't need actual fight choreography. Just have the camera jump to a bunch of different angles to make it look more exciting than it really is. It applies to other things too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCKhktcbfQM

How many edits does it take to climb a fence?

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

Yippie kay yay

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Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!

country music

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

The music was great. The film was pretentiously weird.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

No, but I remember this form the 90s:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVXJmfd3cmg

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Reboot the series with Luke Skywalker as a Chinese man who believes in redistributing the wealth and obeying the government. And no women or black people in prominent roles. That'll reach the target market.

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

successful troll, etc.

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Smashingpmkns posted...

How does that make you feel

excessively horny

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Gobstoppers12 posted...

This isn't a creepy topic at all.

Admiring an attractive body of a compatible sex
As you are genetically designed to do

Creepy

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

What event is this?

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

In hindsight, I think the best thing for Mark Hamill would've been to have played a secret agent. Either immediately before or immediately after Return of the Jedi. Even if it meant a pay cut.

The film could have shown his character training and acquiring his skills which he would later use to defeat the bad guys in the film. What does that sound like? That's kinda like Luke Skywalker training with Yoda -- except this character doesn't use fancy space magic to win his battles. He triumphs using skills and acquired knowledge.

The theme of acquiring and applying new skills would have felt at home, but the setting would have been the furthest thing from outer space. It would have forced the audience to reevaluate Mark Hamill's worth to them and to see him as more than just "Luke Skywalker."

It seems like the way to escape from typecasting is to play a dissimilar character type which still plays to the strengths of the actor. That guy who learns things and later applies them to defeat the bad guys is too oddly specific to ever become a typecast.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Tyranthraxus posted...

Arnold Schwarzenegger was very opposed to his casting in Terminator because having a debut as the bad guy generally does not help. Predator basically got made for him to have a major protagonist role. It turns out that it was kind of unnecessary and he was just fucking great in general.

While nowhere near the same cultural impact as Predator, Commando pretty much existed to be Schwarzenegger's demo reel. "I'm fit... Let's not be modest. I'm RIPPED. I can beat up the bad guys. I can crack one-liners. I can be intimidating, but I can also be relatable. Did you see that scene where my movie-daughter and I fed a deer?"

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Mark Hamill got typecast as Luke Skywalker / a guy who will appear in any science fiction movie for a paycheck.

Really though, the way to break out of typecasting is to get a big role before the series wraps. Sylvester Stallone had a few bombs outside of the Rocky series before making bank with First Bood (Rambo). Harrison Ford starred in two Star Wars movies before becoming Indiana Jones. It seems like when you have your second big role, that's when people (and studios) see you as more than just an extension of the character you're most famous for playing.


---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Unless she has a toxic personality, she has a few strikes before she's unhirable. She'll appear in a superhero movie, an action movie, and a female-centric movie that's not in the action-adventure genre (but as a costar). From there, she'll probably still get work.

Hollywood has changed. You don't get typecast and discarded the way you did in Mark Hamill's day. Thanks in part to social media, Hollywood has caught on that we value the actors behind the characters the way that we value the characters themselves. We would have loved to have seen Ralph Macchio in a racecar movie, Michael Keaton in a treasure hunt, or Macaulay Culkin as a pot-smoking horndog trying to bullshit his way through college. The idea of typecasting is really old-fashioned. Actors are allowed to be more than one character even if they've starred in a series and are famous for just one character.

Even back in the day, Stallone broke from his typecasting of Rocky by playing Rambo. All you need is that second performance to make you something other than "that guy/girl who plays (x character)."

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

In hindsight, not going to a disc format was a mistake for Nintendo 64. Given what they were able to accomplish on a cartridge, I'm sure they could have done Super Mario 64 with the only load screens being the entrances to the worlds themselves. And we could've had Luigi.

That's really where they fell off. GoldenEye, Ocarina of Time, and the THQ wrestling games were fantastic, but Nintendo really lost most of their third party support. They kept the folks who had grown up with Nintendo, but I don't think they really brought in a lot of new markets aside from children of Nintendo faithful and Pokemon fans.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

darkphoenix181 posted...

Sounds like a fetish.

I'm sure there is a name for that. It's not one of mine. But I'd still gladly leer at the woman engaging in it.

/standards

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Episode II turned Darth Vader into a whiny bitch-boy.

Unless this film reveals that he was also a pedophile, it couldn't possibly be the worst entry.

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Gamerguymass posted...

She just wants the guys to like her so Disney will let her do another Captain Marvel. Once she gets that big paycheck she'll probably go back to calling us racists and sexists again.

A woman who willingly invites me to stare at her breasts can call me anything she wants.


"You're a racist, sexist pig."

"What do you even contribute to society? Why do you breathe?"

"Your mother never loved you."


---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Wow, where did those come from? Why didn't anybody tell me Brie had those things?

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0q75GAo1Ng4

Happy birthday and "Merry Christmas, Mr. Austin"

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

DezDroppedFreak posted...

I want Santa to get fuckin ripped

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Update: Hermoine was born physically male, but used magic to transform into her true self

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

I'm Protestant, and non-vegan, so I don't have to give up meat. I had a double quarter pounder for lunch.

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Both are both getting trashed

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Once they started putting in little digs in stuff like Star Tours and Knights of the Old Republic, I think the ship had sailed on revealing him to actually be some sort of evil puppet master.

It would be hilarious though to see people retroactively get upset at how "disrespected" the Sith Emperor was.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

bT-p_q-Td posted...

?

The movie made Scrappy the mastermind.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Please don't pull a Scooby Doo.

This would be like revealing that Paulie Shore was actually Satan. Just because you are annoyed by somebody, that doesn't mean that they're secretly Space Hitler. It is not a good character. It is not a good alibi.

If you were suddenly a superhero or secret agent, would you want your terrorist mastermind arch rival to be revealed as the annoying kid from 7th grade? Why? If you hate somebody that badly because they got on your nerves, the problem lies more with you than it does with them.

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

spanky1 posted...

Wtf is a bestialist

Somebody who thinks "woof" means "yes."

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And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

"they're just fucking with us now"

Yes, they are. Pay no mind to such obvious bait.

---

And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"